The sparkle of the crisp and crunchy snow erase memories of yesterday's storm. Winter can be so beautiful even though the wind and cold can blow away calm and comfort. Last night I tossed and turned fighting the storms of my past which destroy my equilibrium. Preston and I enjoyed three days together, but at times the challenges evoke memories of exhaustion, loneliness and despair from the past. Why is it so hard to leave the past behind. I am always dragging it with me.
"Lay aside every weight and entanglement and fix our eyes ahead...." Hebrews 12: 1,2.
There is another place where it says, "forgetting what lies behind I reach forward to what lies ahead..."Philippians 3:13.
I find it so hard to forget. Instead it seems that there are days when life is beautiful like the fresh snow and sunshine, but my struggles are only temporarily forgotten and ready to be revealed by the next winter storm. Sometimes all it takes is a look, a word, or tiredness which open cracks for the winds to blow through.
On a brighter note, last week Darrell and I went to the movie Les Miserables. A long time ago I saw the live musical. This story depicts the transforming power of grace and mercy. Justice keeps hounding us, pursuing us, like my memories of failures and pain, but only the memory of forgiveness can transform wounds and poverty into love. I see those silver candlesticks freely given to Jean Val Jean as reminders of the extravagant gift of light and hope to be displayed wherever life takes us.
I hope to share some book reviews later this weekend. I am trying to find the balance between reading - living in the stories of others and creating my own stories. This afternoon we will go outside and enjoy the sunshine and snow together. Go and do the same.
No comments:
Post a Comment